Living in a fairy tale ...

* It's been a long time *

2005-06-23T00:42:00.000+08:00

hi guys , it's been a REALLY long time since i last blogged ... haha ... it's been really hactic ... after O level mother tongue was 2 weeks of school ... how sad right ? the june holidays is now cut into half ... time is really precious ... so many things , so little time ... Oh , Ignite Soul Revolution @ Cornerstone was GREAT ! Pei ting & my brother's friend , Lynn went ... so happy ... the street evangalism was fun but scary ... tiring too ... It's a pity the rest did not make it for the conference ... i really feel God and the atmosphere was just so Powerful ... i love the part when Phileo danced ... it's so amazing ... especially the special someone is performing too ... i enjoyed the day conference ... Oh by the way , my brother Matthew accepted Christ ... i feel so happy for him ... another one soul saved ... i really wish to see all my friends & family members being saved ... it will be a tough journey but i know i can do it with God's wonderful power ... Many things happened ... got no time to explain everything to you guys ... but i just feel that i'm now changed because i have God with me ... He is a wonderful God who perform Miracles ... He have great plans for me & i must follow Him ... i believe i CAN also be a wonderful woman of God ...

Exhusted after Maths paper ... Finally ...

2005-05-09T16:43:00.000+08:00

hello everybody ... finally we are closer to the mid-year ... it also means that our O level MT will be coming soon ... counting down ... haiz...study study study ... so stress ... hairs are dropping ... as if i just undergo chemo therapy ... haha ... thank goodness my hair is thick or not i would be bald by now .. haha ... i feel that this year pass so fast ... to fast for me to catch up ... i'm now feeling breathless ... oh God ... haiz... so crazy man .. so fast MYE is over , then it will be O level MT then the result then prelims ... haiz ... so FAST !!! Mad hell man ... oh my ... haiz ...

Feeling thankful ...

2005-05-08T22:43:00.000+08:00

well , it's mother's day ! happy mother's day to all mummies ... i feel that we have to be really thankful for our parents because without them , there is no me and you ... i must truely thank God for blessing me with so many wonderful people ...

i feel that God is really doing something great in my life ... asking my brothers to go to church ... now , marcus starts to believe in our Lord Jesus Christ and have faith in Him ... thank you Lord for bringing my brother closer to you ... i want to be expecting for more from God and walk with God ... we must not leave butt prints but foot prints ...

we must have faith in our God because he is our saviour and our strength ... Fear not for He who is in you is more powerful than he who is in the world ... fear not for your life is already planned by God even before you were born ... He knows you by your name and He knows everything about you so fear not as you have a wonderful and mighty Father in Heaven watching over us ...

i feel very strongly to this msg because tmr is my maths paper2 ... i believe the Holy Spirit will give me strength, wisdom and knowledge to do my paper ... i want to be a light for Christ ... i want to light up people's life ... i want to bring warmth and light into their lives ... i want to do God's will on earth ... God , i am hereby ready to serve you with my life ...

Desire for more ...

2005-05-08T02:27:00.000+08:00

today is rather meaningful for me as it's my brother's birthday ... i feel that i should love my brothers more than ever because i truely love them ... even though i feel that sometimes tings may become bad but i as a big sister must protect them ... i'm saying this from the bottom of my heart ... to be able to love someone , one must love ourselves first ... i feel that God is telling me to reach out to people around me and shower them with the love God gave me ... like rina for instance ... i was really happy that the Holy spirit is speaking to her and asking her to accept Christ ... i was so happy that God gave me a chance to speak to her about Christ and asking her to believe in God ... i was really thankful for all the blessing God gave me ... this morning i recieve a msg from mishuelle ... she send me the msg in the middle of the night telling me how much God love me and telling me that i'm blessed ... i felt so happy because people around me are really nice ... we all must take one step forward and reach out to those in need ... those in trouble , in danger ... we must learn to desire more of God , love him and cling on to Him ... never let Him go pass you ... let Him pour down like rain ... ask for more ... God and the Holy spirit is always there to help us if we need help ... we just have to think of Them and never neglect them ... we must cherish God and the Holy spirit ... we must ... i feel that ever since i oing Emmuel Assembly of God , i'm more open to people and more sensative to God ... i feel that God will use me as a vessel to spread His love ... i know He is gonna create wonders so we must be ready for Him ... let us be ready for Him and not miss Him ... spend time reading the WORD OF GOD , and pray ... learn more of Him and you will understand more ... i want to ba a cell leader ... although i feel that people like coral , regina and the rest from my cell group have more potential to be a cell leader than me but still i want to be God's servent to reach out to all youths ... i want to be like God ... i want to excel and be excellent people of God ... i want to be a strong soldier of God ... i feel that i must write this in my blog because God really speak to me ... He is telling me to voice out ... let His words be known ...

i hope that whoever read this will feel something from God and hope that you all will pray and place your eyes on God everyday and near let Him go ... Hang on and continue to worship Him even in bad times bacause He is a MIGHTY GOD who creates WONDERS .....

Shitty Maths paper 1 !!!

2005-05-06T17:59:00.000+08:00

haiz... today i really had a bad day ... this morning , May gave me the Daily Bread book so that i can do my quiet time ... And guess what it says for 6/5/2005 ... " do not be afraid " .... how nice i though for a while ... it's like on that day i'm having my maths paper then it says "do not be afraid " ... i'm like what the hell for a moment ... then i told myself that i must have faith in the Lord for He is good all the time ... thus , i was feeling confident when i step into the gym for my maths MYE ... let me tell you what happen next ... i look through the paper and i told myself again "oh sh!t !!!"oh my goodness... the paper was a killer ... it totally smash me down ... i was like "whao!!!!@#$%^&*" ...seriously man ... it was a bad bad bad bad paper ... for me , i lost like easily 20+++ marks already ... goodness ... can you believe it ? it's like dots man ... so i ask the Holy Spirit what is happening and all ... for a moment , He did not reply ... untill breaktime before my next paper , Geography ... well , it's not my fav. subject but i can kinda do well for it if i study ... but i didn't .. so like prepare to die lar ... so as usual i enter the gym , sat down and pray ... i prayed for wisdom and knowledge ... then i heard the Holy Spirit speaking to me ... He assured me and calm me down ... For me , it feels really good cause it actually lift me up .... i was happy that the Holy Spirit is beside me all the time ... therefore , i was in a good state of mind when i did my Geography paper ... So , i hereby ask all christians and non christians alike to go to church , mosque , temple etc. and pray ... God will hear your prayer as long as you pray with your heart and soul ... He will respond to you so don't give up on Him ... so i'm gonna end here ...wishing all students good luck for your exams and have a good week ahead ...

Lying to myself , just for the sake of running away from reality ...

2005-04-29T16:51:00.000+08:00

hello everyone ... it's me again ... so tired after school ... but today so special ... i feel so energetic during bio and chemistry lessons ... hahaha ... so happy to do science ... today is the result of the northern thailand trip ... i didn't get in ... nicole , JY and vivien got in ... feel so happy for them ... although i feel sad that i didn't get choosen but still i wish them all the best ... to tell the truth .... i feel damn shit ... hahah ... pls excuse my language ... i'm really very sad and disappointed ... recently , many things had happened and it actually made me to lose faith in GOD ... my leaders always tell me not to give up and always believe in the LORD ... but take a look at my life ... what's good ? NOTHING !!! my life is SH!T i tell you ... my family , school , studies, everything ... i tend to lie to myself just to comfort myself ... but after too much of lies , it's like useless now ... i've been lying to myself all the long ... all the " i want to do well for O level " and " i want to go JC " and so on ... it's lies to comfort myself ... look at me ... how pathetic ? no one understands how i feel ... all the insults and hurtful words ... to the rest , it's like nothing ... but for me ? it cuts me into pieces ... i'm tired of lying to myself ... pretend that nothing is wrong ... everything is fine ... one word ... BULLSH!T ... nothing but BULLSH!T ...

Do you think that it's true ?

2005-04-28T17:56:00.000+08:00

hey every one ... i just took this online thingy about myself ... you guys check it out and see whether do you think that it's true anot k ...

here it goes :

PERSONAL PROFILE : Section 1: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
You are a gambler and an adventurer at heart, one who loves to take risks, to discover and explore new worlds, and to take the untried path rather than the safe, reliable one. You are an independent soul, freedom-loving, and often very restless. You need a lifestyle that provides opportunities for travel, movement, change, and meeting new people. A steady routine which offers much in the way of security but little in the way of space and freedom is odious to you.

Section 2: Mental Interests and Abilities
Clear, objective, and realistic, you are unimpressed by exaggerated claims or promises. You insist upon being shown facts to back up any statement you hear, and your natural skepticism often borders on cynicism. You approach problems clearly and rationally and maintain your poise and objectivity even in the midst of critical situations. Anyone seeking your advice is certain to get an unemotional and unbiased assessment of their situation, and you therefore make a good arbitrator or judge. You are thorough, conscientious, and disciplined in your thinking, and have an aptitude for business, organization, and administration. You are also a good strategist, and will plan and patiently follow a realistic course which will lead to your eventual success. Serious-minded and studious, you enjoy quiet time alone for thinking or reading .

The right jobs for me would allow me to be : Creative and Analytical
You're a visionary in many people's eyes — able to think outside the box and to come up with your own solutions. You're creative not necessarily in the artistic sense, but because you can expand your mind to do things differently from others.

It might take a while for colleagues to recognize and reward you for your entrepreneurial spirit and abilities. That could be because they envy you, or because they find your ideas slightly rebellious — willing to go against the current.

All in all, you make it hard for people to pigeon hole you. That is why you, more than others, need a job that allows you to play to your strengths, break out of the mold, and truly excel.

FINDING MY PURPOSE IN LIFE : Madeline, your destiny is to be a Provider

Whether you know it or not, this is the role that is most in tune with who you are at your core. As a Provider, you have a genuine nurturing concern for the welfare of others and you're eager to serve them. You can recognize exactly what people need and your friendly, helpful, social nature makes them feel comforted. With your kind and generous heart, you are personable, talkative, and outward with your emotions, and your openness and sensitivity makes you concerned about the way others view you. Along these lines, be careful not to blame yourself when things go wrong. You cannot prevent bad things from happening, even though your tendency to be orderly with a strong sense of right and wrong may lead you to believe you can. Accept that you do what you can to take care of things and that this will get you far in the world.

FINDING THE REAL ME : Chapter 1: The Sun - Your Ego Structure

SUN IN SAGITTARIUS

You have a good grasp of the big picture. Although you are overly blunt at times, you have a basic sense of honesty and a lightheartedness which gives the ability to connect with lots of different people. Your overview of life makes you particularly prone to accurate projections. You consciously strive to obtain freedom through self-understanding. This may engage you in philosophic or religious studies, schools or more directly through travel and exploring the great outdoors. You get closer to your goal in life when you become more concerned for the thoughts and feelings of others. You are very quick to react and your spontaneity can be pointing to a lack of sincerity. You learn a lot by consciously reexamining your motives and methods.

MERCURY IN CAPRICORN

Your mind is practical, clear and literal. You see the world pretty much as it actually is. You are naturally resourceful because you are conservative as to what you feel is possible in any circumstance. You have a sense of diplomacy and impeccable timing in your conversation and communication. This is not out of courtesy so much as out of your perception of how things are. You make changes along well thought out and accepted lines. You see the correct time and then jump at the right moment. Your life improves when you cultivate optimism and a deeper ability to adapt to change.

after reading the above , do you think that it's true about me ? tag on my blog to tell me ...

Blue Black on my hand ... Where the hell did it come from ?

2005-04-27T18:39:00.000+08:00

hello everyone ... so tired today ... okay , fine .. i shall stop saying tired , sleepy etc. from today onwards cause in every post , you will be able to find all these words ... so i must be more "happy" and "cheerful" , even though the exams is next week and i'm bloody stress ... having cramps ...*ouch ouch* ...However , i'm gonna tell lots of story today ..

*first story : i had tuition yesterday ... went in for tuition later with nicole ... haha ... one guy from the tuition class not bad looking and pervertic nicole cheong kept looking at his fingers and she even tell me that he got nice fingers ... who will like go around looking at peoples' fingers ? i guess only nicole cheong the lonely one will do such a thing ... Laugh Out LOud ...

*second story : this morning when i was at the busstop near my house , i saw this DAMN good-looking guy from the ARMY *whoo hoo* in his camo running for the bus 13 ... he look so so cool when he run ... so "dashing" ... it's a pun ... haha ... ok back to the story ... he run for the bus and stood behind me waiting to go up the bus ... i went up the bus and sat down ... right after i sat down , the guy just finish tapping his Poly EZ-link card and he stood in front of me and started to look at me for a few seconds ... as for me , a normal human after u find a sit on the bus , u will naturally sit down and look up or look front right ? so being normal i look front then i obviously saw him staring at me lah ... he's like so tall and in camo , if cannot see him then i must be blind or something ... so we had eye contact for about 5-7 seconds then he found a sit at the back of the bus ... at that moment i was like " oh my gosh !" ... hahah ... what an expierence ... hahah .. he really stood infront of me ... dots ...

*ok now moving on to the next story : 'bout blue blacks on my right hand ... i recently found 3 small blue blacks on my right hand ... it's 'bout 3-6 cm long ... and it's didn't seem to go off ... it hurts like shit when i press on it ... However , the wierdest thing 'bout this is , it will only be very very visable in the morning and it will soon become less visable in the night ... i told pei ting , jai yi and my dad about it and i even show it to them ... guess what they say ? the ghost pinch me ... what the hell ? saddistic ghost ah ? 3 of them gave the same answer ... Laugh Out LOud ... and then i showed nicole and she said that i injure myseld accidentally ... but ... the 3 blue blacks is like in a straight line with about 1.5 cm space in between ... and it's about 4 cm below my wrist area ... how to injure like that ? you guys try and picture in your mind ... it's impossible ...

*the fourth story is somehow related to the previous one : about 1 month ago ... i help joann , tiffany's sister to research on children cancers ... and found out that one type of lukemia actually will cause bruises to appear on your arms and legs and body even if you didn't injure yourself ... these bruises will not easily disappear even if you apply medication on it ... it says that if you get that kinda of lukemia , you will tend to bleed if you cut yourself ... and this morning i found my hand bleeding after i accidentally cut my hand with my textbook ... it's like no big deal in the past but it took so long for the wound to clot this time round ... it's like so damn wierd now ... i keep having this feeling that i will die soon ... don't know why but the feeling is always there ... previously i had headache which the doctors says "tension stress" but i don't believe ... if it's tension stress , why i don't have the headache now when i'm suffering triple the stress ? am i really gonna die very soon ? you might think that i'm worrying too much or say that i'm imagining things ... but ... more signs are now shown to prove that i'm dying soon ...

First Mid-year paper ...

2005-04-25T16:11:00.000+08:00

hello everyone who is reading my blog ... i'm so tired ... just finish English !!! yippy !!! yeah yeah yeah !!! at last , english is over ... tmr will be chinese ... dots ... i should be studying instead of doing my blog but nevermind ... haha ... can study later ... everyone out there whose exams are coming , study hard k ... study hard peeps ... do well and excel ... today got cramps ... SH!T man ... why of all days today ? so unlucky HOWEVER , i thank God that i got it this week because only 2 papers rather than next week when i have so many papers next week ... thank GOD ... haha ... i hope i will do well for my Mid year and throughout all my exams and tests ...i must do well in order to go a good and pretigious JC ... although i'm not very clever or smart , i must then study really hard to excel in life ... i must be good and also respect my elders ... be good to my friends and love GOD ; in order to be excellent people ... well , gotta go now ... better buzz off to hit my books ...
*Chinese ... the language of my roots ... brainwashing myself*

Thailand Mission Trip

2005-04-21T16:02:00.000+08:00

hello everyone ... today is just a regular and usual day after school ... i was told by rina in the morning that i got short listed for the thailand mission trip ... i was so so happy ... nicole , jia yi , coral and vivien were choosen too ... 5 girls from 5NA and 12 others from sec 4E and 3s ... i'm so happy even if i don't make it to the top 10 but still i will do my best in the interview so that i will be one of the 10 who get to go for the trip ... i really wish to go there and help to teach the children english and other subjects ... it's gonna be so fun and great ... it's also gonna be very significant as it's my last year in KC so i really hope that i get to go ...if i get to go , i wish that one of my friend can get to go with me ... i'm wishing ...... wishing real hard ... hope that God will be good enough to send me on this mission trip to Thailand ... i also pray that the mission team will soon find a sponsor ... *pray pray*

sleepy ...snore snore snore

2005-04-10T00:33:00.000+08:00

hello everybody especially adeline bong ! always say i never blog but my computer is crazy cannot blame me mah ... right anot ? haha ... kinda tired now ... and my brother is beside me talking to his girlfriend on the phone ... so mushy ... cannot stand it ... all the kiss kiss ... eeeeeeeee ... hahahaha .... maybe becauze i dun have a boyfriend that's why i react this way ... hahaha ... if only i can meet my lover ... i strongly believe that God plan everthing ... things that happened had a purpose ... and i truely understand it now ... i believe in GOD because there is nothing my God cannot do ... he is so powerful and mighty ... HE is the GREATEST ! today in church and cell group i met a lot of people ... they are all very nice especially Sarah Lin , my cell leader ... she is really nice ... i like her a lot ... oh ... and Aunty Ai Lan too ... and of course Pastor Mark ... they are all very nice people ... kinda stress nowadays ... my headache still appears ... haiz ... maybe it really is a tumor ... haha ... i'm not joking ... the pain is driving me nuts ...*ouch ouch* i have learnt to love my parents more and also to control my temper and start to love my enemy ... it's hard but nothing is impossible ... keep on trying and never give up ... haha ... gotta blast off now ... bye bye !*princess madeline signing off together with prince william*

Sick & Tired of this world ....

2005-03-31T23:48:00.000+08:00

today is just like any other day in school ... work , work and more work ... school was boring as usual ... however , Val , SM , becky , Vivien , Eunice , Debbie ,Michelle and me went to Nas's house to bake cookies , muffins and make chocolate fudge ... the cookie were kinda of like frying in the oven but after cooling , it tasted qiute nice ... after all , things were not as bad as we thought it would be ... the muffins tasted like " fa gao" the chinese egg cake used for praying ... LoL ... hahaha ... but , it looks nice with all the decorations though ... haha ... can see but cannot eat ... the chocolate fudge was WONDERFUL ! so nice , thick and delicious ... yum yum ... haha ... well , it's gonna be midnight soon ... i better go sleep soon ... so i will end today's entry here ... till tomorrow ... Sayonara ! *princess madeline yawn with a huge smile on her face* :)

It's the JC thing ...

2005-03-30T20:33:00.000+08:00

today , had to stay back for some JC & CI talk by Miss Lam ... all the poly or JC or CI things made me so stress ... why can't life be simple ? why is there special , express , N(A) , N(T) ? all this cause so much stress ... i went to the doctor & he said that my headache is caused by stress , weather and lack of sleep ... haiz ... so tired ! yawn yawn ... my mother is scolding my brother now ... i don't feel like going to the living room / "war zone" ... so sad ... well . that's my life ... there's nothing i can do about it ... it's beyond my control ... i should sign off now ... *princess madeline buzzing off*

Trying out this thing ...

2005-03-29T23:18:00.000+08:00

well , today was rather tiring ... haha ... so stress ... O level this year ... i'm going crazy ... hahaha... got a headache today ... the pain is like as if i fall down and knock my head ... but i didn't even fall ... no blue black or humps ... dots ... i think i have a brain tumor ... lol ... haha ... today i also baked cookies ... haha .. 1st attemp : cookies burnt ! 2nd attemp : cookies too sweet ! as sweet as me ... lol ... 3rd attemp : cookies not so sweet but kinda "wet" ... hahaha ... such a failure ... lol ... never mind ... failure leads to sucess ... i think i'm gonna stop here ... kinda tired now ... well , the royal princess gotta leave now ... *waving to my dearest royal attendance*